


Those I Knew, And Those I Still Adore

by a17tabris



Category: Chronicle
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-04
Updated: 2012-02-04
Packaged: 2017-10-30 14:20:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/332688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a17tabris/pseuds/a17tabris
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just a bit from Andrew's point of view about four fifths of the way through the movie, with some flashing back to a pairing that never was.  Warning for spoilers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Those I Knew, And Those I Still Adore

Andrew's first time, he has to admit to himself, wasn't actually that bad. Not that first time with the red-haired slut from the party, that time doesn't even count. His real first time, the time with Steve. And Steve insists that it doesn't count, that it's just what guys do for each other, but Andrew's pretty sure it's gay sex. And he's okay with that, really. There's nothing wrong with that. He's an open-minded kind of guy, when it comes to some things, especially when it involves Steve's arm reaching around his shoulder and into his pants, which is probably the closest thing he's gotten to a hug in the last ten years or more, and not when he can hear himself making the sounds he always holds back when he jerks off at home, and Steve tells him that it's okay, that everything's okay, that Andrew was just looking too tense, like he needed some help. And he can believe it when Steve says it, believe that everything's okay, even when it's not and everything's still wrong. Steve was really great like that.

And the time with Steve will have to do more definitely than before, now that there is no Steve to have a second time with and now that there's really no chance, honestly, of finding a woman. Not when he's gone this far. There's always the option of just taking one, taking what's owed to him (and isn't it owed to him? Isn't it his duty to try to pass this bullshit on?) but he doesn't think he could do it. And there's something wrong there, that he can do all this, destroy all this, kill all these people, but can't rape a woman. Matt would probably say it's the word, that he's held back because he's thinking about the act in terms of the word, Rape, with a capital R and all its overuse on the internet, but fuck Matt and he's also doing Kill and Murder without too much trouble. Matt can't stop him now. Matt's too weak. No one can stop him. Maybe Steve could have, but Steve went and got himself killed and now there's nothing, and nothing can stop Andrew. Maybe Steve could have, could have stopped Andrew, could have found a better way, but he's gone and it's his own damn fault (those are the words Andrew uses, and he doesn't know who he means by his own), and nothing can stop Andrew from getting out of this bed, saving his mother, and destroying anyone who gets in his way.

**Author's Note:**

> This was knocked off in the tired haze after a midnight showing in hopes of planting a seed from which more, better fanfiction would grow, so apologies for any lack of expected brilliance. Title is from We Were Lovers, the opening theme to Gankutsuou.


End file.
